I’ve Got Something Else Fudgey For You To Eat (Updated)

Wow. A blatant baiting. DCist lays claim to Baltimore’s Berger cookies:

Although the Berger Cookie has been around since the mid-19th century, its distribution outside of Baltimore remains limited. Despite the fact that Baltimore is an inner suburb of Washington, Berger Cookies are currently distributed to just seven locations in the immediate D.C. area.

Ari Charney, if I had to live in Alexandria and wake up next to your wife every day, I too would seek solace in a fudgey chocolatey cookie from a completely different city.

How 'bout them Skins, eh?

Update: Hmm. Interesting. Apparently, Ari Charney did not include the line “Despite the fact that Baltimore is an inner suburb of Washington...” in his original posting.

PGCist,


RE: "Despite the fact that Baltimore is an inner suburb of Washington..."

One of the editors apparently inserted that jab. I guess it's some sort of in-joke that I'm not aware of.

The sentence in the piece that I originally submitted actually read (before their edits) : "Despite Washington’s proximity to Baltimore . . ."

-Ari

Which was explained, perhaps jokingly, in a later comment by Adam Bailey:

We have a filter that automatically changes any mention of Baltimore to mention how it's an inner suburb, northeast neighborhood, bedroom community, or some such. Just a little wink to our friends at DCist Go Home. Background on the subject is here.

Good God, what a bunch of pricks?! Granted, I would have posted on this entry, and I’m sure I would have been rude about it, but I would never have insulted his wife had I known that he was not responsible for making that misguided posting personal.

DCist editors, you alter your writers’ words to embroil them our shared personal hatred of one another? I keep trying to be an asshole here, but DCist just keeps proving to me, over and over again, that NOBODY does smug despicable shithead like a DCist editor.

Ari Charney, obviously I don’t think you should be posting about Baltimore matters on the pages of DCist; but I never would have insulted your wife had I known that the editors manipulated your posting for personal reasons. For that, I am sorry.

And Sommer Mathis, as the editor-in-chief of DCist, I think you should know that I think you are an ugly cunt, and I’m glad to learn from a google search that you’re a whore to boot.

Twice in Two

Baltimore recieved the suburban treatment twice in the past couple of days. Bleh. I have nothing particularly clever or hostile to say about that without just repeating myself. They were both in snippits style sections.

the snips:

>> Baltimore is combating panhandling by asking residents to put change they might give to the homeless on the corner into retrofitted parking meters...
Lindsay Gibson

Briefly Noted: Fenty picks a deputy mayor, eliminating the three other positions ... Man pleads guilty to killing Hopkins student ... Two convicted in MS-13 trial ... IRS loses bunch of laptops ...
Catherine Andrews

Well, Lindsay and Catherine, just as a little reminder, here is a map taken from the Washington Post last week used to illustrate the election results for the Washington area metropolitan market:



Notice what’s missing? Do you two know something about your media market area that the Washington Post doesn’t? You’re “DCist,” not “LowerMidAtlanticist.” We’re not your suburb. Stay out.

Oh, Thank God

Baltimore County
100% of precincts reporting

Ehrlich 122,062 50%
O’Malley 121,583 49%

Late night gloat Alex Hogan left in my comments:

Ouch, now with 80% of precincts voting, O'Malley has widened his lead in good old BC %52 to %47. You are DCist's little what now?

Not me! Whew! Aww, too bad so sad. It turns out that I cried myself to sleep last night for nothing.

But, in the name of sportsmanship, I said Ehrlich would win Baltimore County “handedly.” Obviously, I was wrong, and Alex Hogan’s interpretation of the polls last week turned out to be spot on. Due to the amazing closeness of the race in Baltimore County, and my gratitude to God and 479 Ehrlich lovas, be they Republican or Democrat, who spared me from saying that I’m DCist’s little bitch and that I wanted to be Jason Linkins’ girlfriend, I will concede this:

Last week, I was obviously talking out of my ass.

Gulp?!

I’m not conceding Baltimore County yet! I’m not conceding Baltimore County yet! We won’t know for days! The absentee ballots still need to be counted!

Yeesh. Although, I will admit that O’Malley did much better in Baltimore County than I expected. On that point, I will eat crow.

Either way, I couldn’t care less about the result of the Governor's election; but for the love of God, Ehrlich, pull through in Baltimore County! Please!

The Return of the Know Nothings

As I said a week or two ago, I feel DCist is more than well within their rights to address Baltimore City, Baltimore County, or any other part of the state for that matter when the subject is Maryland politics. But, in those cases when they do choose to address this area, I would be nice if they knew what the hell they were talking about. For instance, check out Martin Austermuhle’s (and/or Alex Hogan?) little snippet on the Maryland gubernatorial race in DCist’s Election Guide 2006:

Maryland Governor: Poor Bob Ehrlich. The incumbent governor can’t get any respect in the Old Line State. Sure, most of his campaign promises, including legalizing slot machines, stronger penalties for gun crimes, and more money to public schools, crashed and burned in Annapolis. And yes, he has spent more time feuding with the Democratic-controlled Assembly (and the Baltimore Sun) than signing his name to bills. But things are going pretty well in Maryland, and most residents are satisfied with the state of the state and Ehrlich’s job performance. Even the Post thinks Bob should get another shot in the governor’s chair. Unfortunately, Ehrlich happens to be a registered Republican. And in a state that is 2-1 Democrat and where President George W. Bush’s approval ratings have dipped so low that he only really ever visits the state to go mountain biking in a private facility, it's not surprising that Baltimore Mayor Martin O’Malley (D) commands a 10-point lead over the incumbent, scary law and order commercials demonizing Charm City aside. Look for Baltimore County “Ehrlich Democrats” to return to the fold and secure a comfortable O’Malley victory.

No need to be concerned as to whether or not my opinion of DCist’s opinion is politically biased: I hate both their guts. I’m only concerned with the “facts” that DCist has provided.

First, “...it's not surprising that Baltimore Mayor Martin O’Malley (D)commands a 10-point lead over the incumbent.”

ER?! Mind you, I think it is relevant to point out that DCist published this TODAY; only a day after the latest polls have shown that Ehrlich is within one or two points of O’Malley.

What the f**k are they talking about? Just yesterday, my best DCist bud, Fat F**k Jason Linkins, published the latest polls on the pages of DCist. Oh, yes, here are the latest polls.

And, second, “Look for Baltimore County “Ehrlich Democrats” to return to the fold and secure a comfortable O’Malley victory.”

Look at me laughing my ass of next week when Ehrlich handedly wins Baltimore County. I have no idea who will win this election, it looks to me as though that it could go either way (I suspect that dick-wad Ehrlich will pull it out and beat that rat-f**k O’Malley, but we’ll see...), but if O’Malley wins Baltimore County, I promise to title a post “I Am DCist’s Little Bitch.” It is a promise, I SWEAR..

Have they ever even met a Baltimore County Ehrlich Democrat?! On this, they have not a clue to the extreme. Perhaps they really should limit their coverage to the DC suburbs.

More Briefs

November 1
Morning Roundup
Briefly Noted

...Hopkins frat suspended, "Halloween Hood"-themed party seen as racist.

Again with the f**king briefs?! Need I remind you of DCist’s mission statement:

DCist is a website about the Washington, D.C. area and everything that happens there. That means news and events, restaurants and nightlife, happenings, goings-on and observations.

Sure, I understand you extending your coverage to include your own metropolitan market area; but when you’ve left your own market area and are covering a city outside of your market area, which is larger than your own city, which shares absolutely no cultural ties to your own, how are you fulfilling that mission?

You and I know perfectly well that neither DCist or the city of DC ever has the intention of embracing Baltimore as being one with your own city. This, of course, is perfectly fine by us. What is left is little snippets, briefly noteds, bullshit claims to our cultural institutions and a sea of misinformation about this city of which you do not have a fraction of understanding, this city that hates your guts, this city which you yourselves condescend to as being insignificant, typically based a handful of years experience with the region, whether you’re actually Californians... or Floridians... or whatever.