Bitch, Whine, Repeat....
It’s funny how when matters such as crime statistics arise, DCist could not possibly disassociate itself from Baltimore fast enough; such is when the Editor-In-Chief, Sommer Mathis, wrote this on September 19:
Yet, when they’re covering positives or see something in Baltimore that they would like to be associated with, they could not possibly lay claim to Baltimore any faster. Such as yesterday, when DCist wrote this about some band at the Ottobar or something*:
Hmmm. I suppose we’re only “another story” sometimes. At least they went to the trouble of actually acknowledging that the Ottobar isn’t actually in DC, unlike their coverage of the Virgin Festival in Pimlico**. I suppose this exhibits some growth on their part.
Why does DCist do this? Well, the answer is obvious. Washingtonians love nothing more than pretending that they’re something they’re not. What they’re pretending to be in this instance is a Global City. Of course, it is impossible to pretend to be such a thing with their numbers. But if they pretend that Baltimore is in the Washington metropolitan area, then suddenly they’re representative of a market of 8.6 million people... unless, of course they’re talking about negatives associated with Baltimore... then all of a sudden they’re talking about a totally different place that they have nothing to do with. Never mind that they don’t represent anything to this city or our metropolitan area other than exemplifying everything that we despise.
Well, DCist, Washington, everything that is associated (which, incidentally, Baltimore is not), you should have gone with your original instinct. You have got to figure out your own city before you try to lay claim to this one. Trust me, it isn’t easy. Twenty years, thirty years... people spend they’re entire lives trying to understand this city, and in the end even the experts fall short. There are simply too many variables. You gotta live in and look at the ugly long and hard before the beauty reveals itself to you. Not that I think you’re interested, but I can assure you that you won’t be able to do it from DC. So don’t bother trying to eat your cake in have it too. If you don’t want our bad, you can’t have our good. Baltimore is too much of a mouth full for you. If you want to pretend to be a Global City, that’s on you. Don’t involve us in your delusion. We know what we are. The question is, do you know what you are?
* Completely don't give a shit about some show at the Ottobar, but that isn't the point.
** Again, not that I care at all about some worthless touring music festival
We [DC] had 195 murders in 2005, which comes to 35.4 per 100,000 citizens. That's actually down from 198 in 2004, but still higher per capita than all the states.
But how about cities like Detroit, New Orleans and Baltimore; traditional contenders for the "America's Murder Capital" moniker? Their crime rates are another story.
Yet, when they’re covering positives or see something in Baltimore that they would like to be associated with, they could not possibly lay claim to Baltimore any faster. Such as yesterday, when DCist wrote this about some band at the Ottobar or something*:
So, where you place yourself in the Landau/Rock 'n' Roll Future spectrum, then, might directly correlate to how much you like the Hold Steady. Last night at Ottobar in Baltimore, the fanboy and the critic in me kept coming back to those words and asking myself if it really could get any better than this.
Hmmm. I suppose we’re only “another story” sometimes. At least they went to the trouble of actually acknowledging that the Ottobar isn’t actually in DC, unlike their coverage of the Virgin Festival in Pimlico**. I suppose this exhibits some growth on their part.
Why does DCist do this? Well, the answer is obvious. Washingtonians love nothing more than pretending that they’re something they’re not. What they’re pretending to be in this instance is a Global City. Of course, it is impossible to pretend to be such a thing with their numbers. But if they pretend that Baltimore is in the Washington metropolitan area, then suddenly they’re representative of a market of 8.6 million people... unless, of course they’re talking about negatives associated with Baltimore... then all of a sudden they’re talking about a totally different place that they have nothing to do with. Never mind that they don’t represent anything to this city or our metropolitan area other than exemplifying everything that we despise.
Well, DCist, Washington, everything that is associated (which, incidentally, Baltimore is not), you should have gone with your original instinct. You have got to figure out your own city before you try to lay claim to this one. Trust me, it isn’t easy. Twenty years, thirty years... people spend they’re entire lives trying to understand this city, and in the end even the experts fall short. There are simply too many variables. You gotta live in and look at the ugly long and hard before the beauty reveals itself to you. Not that I think you’re interested, but I can assure you that you won’t be able to do it from DC. So don’t bother trying to eat your cake in have it too. If you don’t want our bad, you can’t have our good. Baltimore is too much of a mouth full for you. If you want to pretend to be a Global City, that’s on you. Don’t involve us in your delusion. We know what we are. The question is, do you know what you are?
* Completely don't give a shit about some show at the Ottobar, but that isn't the point.
** Again, not that I care at all about some worthless touring music festival
posted by dcistgohome at 1:30 AM
2 Comments:
Fatty Linkins put you up on his blog, so you must have angered him by suggesting that Washington is not the world class city he thinks it is. The fat fuck needs to spend less time on the internet and more time losing some weight.
Thanks for the heads up. I checked it out. Heh. He’s still pretending this has something to do with him. I got the gist of the original sommer mathis post from the start, lots of whining about DC being measured as a state because it isn’t IN a state, blah blah blah..., like anyone who reads such studies is too stupid to read the stats and misinterpret them because they don’t know DC isn’t in a state, not that the specifics made fuck all difference to me, but otherwise there was nothing wrong with that post. I have only one concern about DCist, and that is that it stays the fuck out of Baltimore. They have zero ability to know what they are talking about. He can blubber on to infinity about how much of a dump he thinks Baltimore is. I don’t care about that. Baltimore is dumpy? Duh. Dumpy, complicated, intricate, interesting and beyond their comprehension. Why the hell does DCist even wants to cover Baltimore is what I wish was beyond me. For no better reason than to pretend that DC is bigger and more significant than it really is. Pathetic. Guess what? We don’t like your city or want to have anything to do DC, so fuck off and stop pretending to be some sort of a voice for us.
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