The Hate, The Love, The Comments
Here are a few choice comments (with my replies) from the DCist post about my hating:
Why would I have a hate on for Philadelphia? Philadelphia is a great town. The best Baltimore Club music is coming out of Philly, and they’re respectful enough to throw the credit where it is due. Columbia? I’m not going to waste my ire on a bedroom community for being a bedroom community. Oh my God! Stable schools for growing families! The horror!. Besides, DC, or at least the part that “matters,” is just a big Columbia anyway. The rich are richer, the poor are poorer; but otherwise, they’re pretty much the same thing. Columbia is where snotty young transient Washingtonians eventually go to be grown-ups.
Thanks, Chrisafer. Vor, sadly, I agree. Too bad Sommer Mathis didn’t even get it. Pity, seeing how she is a regional expert and all.
bwm, are you mocking me or praising me? If you are mocking me, do I think you are funny? Yes! Kudos to you, my man...
Heh. That’s okay, .j. Hate, obviously, is A-OK by me. As long as DCers don’t presume that we are theirs to look down upon, I’m aces with you.
Stereotypes had nothing to do with it. I’m basing my assessment entirely on the content found on the pages of DCist.
Obviously, I was goading DCist to respond and give the editors an opportunity to show their true colors. Sommer Mathis, in her elitist transient glory, didn’t disappoint.
And, no, I don’t think all Washingtonians are elitist transient scum. Some of my best friends are Washingtonains (heh). Many Washingtonians actually understand the region and the cultural boundaries. Some of these may hate Baltimore, some may like Baltimore, and some may be completely indifferent to Baltimore. I can respect all of these positions. But it takes a special kind of rat fuck to come here from the other side of the country and after only a couple of years presume DC is the preeminent dominate cultural force of the lower mid-Atlantic region. DC, or at least the white part, is an island of transience with no particular connection to anybody or anywhere. It is a big Columbia. DC has no more claim Baltimore cultural institutions than, say, Beirut has to Haifa.
I think you made it quite clear EXACTLY how you feel about Baltimore. Hate? Perhaps not. Hate would imply some degree of respect. Are you contemptuous of Baltimore? Yes. Do you presume some claim to Baltimore institutions in your coverage on DCist? Absolutely. You can’t be dismissive of Baltimore “and all” and try to be inclusive at the same time. Who the fuck cares what you think? You think Baltimore is all about some aquarium, a stadium and condescendingly saying the word “Hon.” You know nothing of the region outside your Northwest bubble. You’re just some cow from LA.
As long as you’re willing to own your feelings, I can’t really hold it against you. Of course, you comment anonymously; but this is an anonymous blog, so who am I to judge?
My target is deserving, I can assure you. But, yes, this page should only last for about approx. 5 secs in web time.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; I think the idea of a Baltimorist is lame. I think any Ist outside the original context of a New York blog is lame. Any other Ist is just a franchise. Baltimore already has a similar entity that is a hell of a lot older than Gothamist. Lord knows it has its flaws, but at least it is home grown and not just slobbing on New York’s knob.
Biting wit, CDTrave. I bet you are a fascinating date.
This comment caused a few replies arguing about airport names. Losers, the bunch of them.
But this one was funny:
Heh.
Call me a self hater, but I actually loved this one.
If you’re from Philly, I feel betrayed. Okay, I don’t really, but no more Spank Rock for you. If you’re not from Philly, than from both of us, kiss our asses.
An “entire” blog ain’t much. Recently, DCist has been giving me, on average, one to three opportunities a week to be a total bitch. This wee little blog has two intended audiences, the editors of DCist (so I can get under their skin), and the Blogtimore community (so I can give them a cheap laugh). I don’t suspect DCist will be throwing me many bones for the next couple of weeks, and the three they gave me this week really weren’t much to work with; but I’ll still be stopping by every day to see if there is any opportunity for me to have a little fun. I will be fair; but if I catch a whiff of slight, than I’ll be just as obnoxious as ever.
On the first point, I liked it. On the second, DC is a planned community.
Yes, you did. Here the your pearl of brilliance:
That’s it?! That’s all you have?! You registered a blogger account to say THAT?! Your mockery sucks. That was the three inch flaccid penis of put downs. I can see why you went back to your mommy to show off that you fried my ass. I’m sure she’s very proud. Maybe she’ll take you shopping for a new sucker at Potomac Mills.
See my opinion of put down above.
Fine. For you, I’ll edit my blogroll.
Before:
After:
Happy now, Dan? Incidently, there is no such thing as “a well-done blog” that uses a blogspot subdomain. This not having a not well-done blogroll doesn’t bother me one whit. What’s your excuse? At least now I have a buddy on my blogroll. Wanna be my MySpace pal?
Way to represent, Bos. An honest to goodness flat-screen moving picture box, huh? Wow. Can I give you head?
After this, there was just a bunch of crap with commenters bickering over whether or not they hate Columbia. Apparently, surrounding yourself with a other transients and chain stores in the suburbs is totally different than doing the exact same thing in Northwest. Oh, and they complain a lot about how much they hate chains, ON DCist. Whatever.
Adams Morgan | July 18, 2006 04:22 PM:
As a Baltimoron by birth and Washingtonian till death, I take exception to this! Charm City and Chocolate City are two vastly different places and can each be loved and appreciated for their own unique reasons....Baltimore shouldn't hate DC and DC shouldn't hate Baltimore, let's find a common enemy (Philadelphia? Columbia, Md?) and join our forces for good, not evil.
Why would I have a hate on for Philadelphia? Philadelphia is a great town. The best Baltimore Club music is coming out of Philly, and they’re respectful enough to throw the credit where it is due. Columbia? I’m not going to waste my ire on a bedroom community for being a bedroom community. Oh my God! Stable schools for growing families! The horror!. Besides, DC, or at least the part that “matters,” is just a big Columbia anyway. The rich are richer, the poor are poorer; but otherwise, they’re pretty much the same thing. Columbia is where snotty young transient Washingtonians eventually go to be grown-ups.
chrisafer | July 18, 2006 04:38 PM:
The photo used for that blog's header is brilliant!
vor | July 18, 2006 04:47 PM:
The photo used for that blog's header is brilliant!
Yeah. I thought that was pretty much the only funny part of that movie.
Thanks, Chrisafer. Vor, sadly, I agree. Too bad Sommer Mathis didn’t even get it. Pity, seeing how she is a regional expert and all.
bwm | July 18, 2006 04:48 PM:
Does DCistGoHome ask itself lots of questions? Yes. Does DCistGoHome answer said questions? You bet. Does DCistGoHome take shit from DCist? FUCK NO, BITCHES!
Crab cakes and football, my man...
bwm, are you mocking me or praising me? If you are mocking me, do I think you are funny? Yes! Kudos to you, my man...
.j. | July 18, 2006 04:55 PM:
why can't we all just get along? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore-Washington_Metropolitan_Area
just kidding. i hate baltimore too.
Heh. That’s okay, .j. Hate, obviously, is A-OK by me. As long as DCers don’t presume that we are theirs to look down upon, I’m aces with you.
md | July 18, 2006 04:58 PM
Generally I got your back DCist, and maybe Oaklandist comming first makes sense (at least it is debatable), but Newarkist and East St. Louisist before Baltimoreist, come on. That is just plain wrong. It makes you look like a stuck up elitist and only perpetuates the negative stereotype of DC people that probably got DCist go home all fired up in the first place. Maybe you had too much coffee today, but please reel in the rheetoric.
Stereotypes had nothing to do with it. I’m basing my assessment entirely on the content found on the pages of DCist.
Obviously, I was goading DCist to respond and give the editors an opportunity to show their true colors. Sommer Mathis, in her elitist transient glory, didn’t disappoint.
And, no, I don’t think all Washingtonians are elitist transient scum. Some of my best friends are Washingtonains (heh). Many Washingtonians actually understand the region and the cultural boundaries. Some of these may hate Baltimore, some may like Baltimore, and some may be completely indifferent to Baltimore. I can respect all of these positions. But it takes a special kind of rat fuck to come here from the other side of the country and after only a couple of years presume DC is the preeminent dominate cultural force of the lower mid-Atlantic region. DC, or at least the white part, is an island of transience with no particular connection to anybody or anywhere. It is a big Columbia. DC has no more claim Baltimore cultural institutions than, say, Beirut has to Haifa.
DCist Sommer | July 18, 2006 04:59 PM
In case it's not clear, I really don't hate Baltimore at all. Seems like who live there like it and all. I just think this DCist Go Home thing is too funny not to mock.
I think you made it quite clear EXACTLY how you feel about Baltimore. Hate? Perhaps not. Hate would imply some degree of respect. Are you contemptuous of Baltimore? Yes. Do you presume some claim to Baltimore institutions in your coverage on DCist? Absolutely. You can’t be dismissive of Baltimore “and all” and try to be inclusive at the same time. Who the fuck cares what you think? You think Baltimore is all about some aquarium, a stadium and condescendingly saying the word “Hon.” You know nothing of the region outside your Northwest bubble. You’re just some cow from LA.
GhettoBurbs | July 18, 2006 05:06 PM
There's no need to hate on something so small and insignificant.
As long as you’re willing to own your feelings, I can’t really hold it against you. Of course, you comment anonymously; but this is an anonymous blog, so who am I to judge?
internet special olympics | July 18, 2006 05:07 PM
Oh good lord. Baltimore and DC are completely different cities, they just happen to coexist in the same geographical area. DCistGoHome, stop whining and learn basic grammar. DCist, let sleeping cities lie or whatever. Seriously, troll blogs last approx. 5 secs in web time, so let the creators get their panties in a wad for the afternoon and then let them move on to a more deserving target.
BTW, I'd read Baltimoreist. Someone get on that idea!
My target is deserving, I can assure you. But, yes, this page should only last for about approx. 5 secs in web time.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; I think the idea of a Baltimorist is lame. I think any Ist outside the original context of a New York blog is lame. Any other Ist is just a franchise. Baltimore already has a similar entity that is a hell of a lot older than Gothamist. Lord knows it has its flaws, but at least it is home grown and not just slobbing on New York’s knob.
CDTrave | July 18, 2006 05:40 PM
Isn't Baltimore the city whose primary airport has the word Washington in it? Meanwhile we have two of our own without any mention of our northern neighbor. I think that evidence alone settles this debate.
Biting wit, CDTrave. I bet you are a fascinating date.
This comment caused a few replies arguing about airport names. Losers, the bunch of them.
But this one was funny:
TC the Terrible | July 18, 2006 10:17 PM
"Isn't Baltimore the city whose primary airport has the word Washington in it? Meanwhile we have two of our own without any mention of our northern neighbor. I think that evidence alone settles this debate."
Ouch. Damn. Score. Somebody just got served, and it wasn't Voltron.
Heh.
chiclet | July 18, 2006 10:57 PM
everyone has that freak-cousin we like to have around because they make us look better. that's baltimore! woot! thanks, bmore:)
Call me a self hater, but I actually loved this one.
sessone | July 19, 2006 12:27 AM
the best thing about philly??? its not baltimore.
If you’re from Philly, I feel betrayed. Okay, I don’t really, but no more Spank Rock for you. If you’re not from Philly, than from both of us, kiss our asses.
vor | July 19, 2006 01:14 AM
...does DCist really have enough Baltimore content to justify an entire blog dedicated to responding to DCist's coverage of Baltimore?
An “entire” blog ain’t much. Recently, DCist has been giving me, on average, one to three opportunities a week to be a total bitch. This wee little blog has two intended audiences, the editors of DCist (so I can get under their skin), and the Blogtimore community (so I can give them a cheap laugh). I don’t suspect DCist will be throwing me many bones for the next couple of weeks, and the three they gave me this week really weren’t much to work with; but I’ll still be stopping by every day to see if there is any opportunity for me to have a little fun. I will be fair; but if I catch a whiff of slight, than I’ll be just as obnoxious as ever.
leaf | July 19, 2006 09:09 AM
The smack and syphilis is much more available for my dollar in Charm City.
Wisen up people: The true enemies are planned communities like Reston and Columbia
On the first point, I liked it. On the second, DC is a planned community.
Hill Rat | July 19, 2006 09:36 AM
I started a blog just so I could add a comment mocking dcistgohome.
Yes, you did. Here the your pearl of brilliance:
HillRatDC said...
I live on Capitol Hill and I can be at Camden Yards in the same amount of time it takes me to get to Potomac Mills. Sounds like a DC suburb to me
That’s it?! That’s all you have?! You registered a blogger account to say THAT?! Your mockery sucks. That was the three inch flaccid penis of put downs. I can see why you went back to your mommy to show off that you fried my ass. I’m sure she’s very proud. Maybe she’ll take you shopping for a new sucker at Potomac Mills.
Dan | July 19, 2006 11:23 AM
I love how his links still read "Google News", "Edit me" and "Edit me".
Always the sign of a well-done blog.
See my opinion of put down above.
Fine. For you, I’ll edit my blogroll.
Before:
After:
Happy now, Dan? Incidently, there is no such thing as “a well-done blog” that uses a blogspot subdomain. This not having a not well-done blogroll doesn’t bother me one whit. What’s your excuse? At least now I have a buddy on my blogroll. Wanna be my MySpace pal?
Posted by: Bos | July 19, 2006 11:51 AM
Yes, "having some money" has always been synonymous with "uncool."
I will think of the poor Baltimorians tonight as I watch the Wire on my flat-screen tonight.
Way to represent, Bos. An honest to goodness flat-screen moving picture box, huh? Wow. Can I give you head?
After this, there was just a bunch of crap with commenters bickering over whether or not they hate Columbia. Apparently, surrounding yourself with a other transients and chain stores in the suburbs is totally different than doing the exact same thing in Northwest. Oh, and they complain a lot about how much they hate chains, ON DCist. Whatever.
posted by dcistgohome at 6:14 AM
15 Comments:
Columbia? I love Columbia! You've got to keep all those uppercrusty suburban people in a confined space where you can keep tabs on them and make sure they don't ruin life for the rest of us. A planned community out of the way of any communities of substance,in a dead space off of I-95 is the perfect spot. Those Columbia people think they are in a special place and don't leave, and the rest of us can easily drive around them. Columbia does its job beautifully.
I think Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Rochester and Buffalo are pretty cool cities. It's looking pretty grim here in my Charm City hood with all the new houses, the beamers and trendy stores. The day is coming soon where someone will put a Starbucks on my corner. When that happens I am going to head to safety in Pittsburgh or Buffalo where I most likely will find happiness again. I can't find a parking space anymore.
Oh, so now she’s a wounded victim. Ridiculous. Whether or not this page ever gets updated again is entirely up to the editors of DCist. DCist has complete control. They write politely, I write politely. They get hostile, I get hostile. They get personal, I get personal. etc... It’s called tit for tat.
Sommer Mathis wrote:
“I imagine they'll get you guys up and running sometime after Newarkist, Oaklandist, and East Saint Louisist.”
and...
“I mean, those things exemplify Charm City perfectly, right hon?”
and...
“ You know, because Baltimore has them, and Baltimore is, of course, just part of the D.C. Metro area.”
Every one single statement will be followed by one single response; no more, no less. She made these statements, and I responded to them in my previous post. She said “In case it's not clear, I really don't hate Baltimore at all. Seems like who live there like it and all. I just think this DCist Go Home thing is too funny not to mock” in the comments, and I responded in the post devoted to comments.
Yes, prior to her post, this page was irritating, but it wasn’t personal. She responded, got personal, and I responded personally in kind. She is the one who chose to go personal. Like I said, DCist has complete and absolute control.
Do you have so little respect for her to think she can’t handle being held accountable for the content and tone of her own statements? All that is going to happen is some obnoxious person in Baltimore is going to be obnoxious back on a page maybe half a dozen people might come across on Blogtimore. So what?
“Why not Martin? Why not any of ther other DCist staff? ” Has Martin gotten personal? No. Has any of the other staff gotten personal? No. Has anyone else blatantly insulted Baltimore “and all” in their content? Spare me the wounded puppy routine.
Me never saying anything ever again is so unbelievably easy.
I always appreciate a good link. ;-)
Awesome. So if I get personal, you write, like some reflexive little puppet?
Hot.
In that case, let it be known that I agree with Joe Queenan when he says Baltimore is a "slum with a nice aquarium."
Okay. Now...go write something! I demand to be entertained!
Heh. Silly townie.
--DCist Jason
Oh! And you missed one:
DCist briefly reports on our neighboring hamlet:
"U.S. evacuees from Lebanon arrive in Baltimore ... "
Come on! Dance, little bitch! Commence to jiggling!
heh. it wasn't missed. as they arrived at BWI, I let it slide. I'm not completely unfair.
"little bitch." well aren't you the tough guy. that explains the ubermasculine 3 starred sergeant's patch. Golly, “little-bitch” crosses even my line of approprate internet behavior; and I thought as obnoxious as they come.
I'm the goader, not the goaded.
I put this site together to give the DCist staff an opportunity to show their ass. explain to me again, which one of us is the dancing monkey? for some reason, I think the dancing monkey is fat, ugly, and wears a goatee.
The stars come right off the Washington, DC flag!
Hmmm. Guess you don't know "the region" that well.
Yep. Looks like I'm still goading!
yes, I got it. I just wasn't particularly impressed. machismo is for wimps.
"I wasn't particularly impressed..."
The feeling is mutual.
I met Jason Linkins once. What a fat fucking asshole he is. I mean, seriously, this guy is about the biggest prick you will ever meet in your life. He also fancies himself as some sort of actor. I kind of felt bad for him because he thinks he is a legitimate actor but he lives in Washington.
I'm not sure that I should consider myself a true Baltimorean, but I did go to school there for the past 4 years. I have to say, I love Baltimore. Most people visit for a weekend or something and stay in the Inner Harbor which is really just an amusement park tacked on to the real city which surrounds it. The best thing about Bmore is that its not a hold-your-hand, user-friendly city like New York or DC. Its got it own soul which you'd have to live there for a year at least to experience. Fuck DC and the DCist. Thanks for keeping it real.
Oh no, dcistgohome insulted my insult! How can I go on living knowing that some internet troll doesn't think I'm funny?
For someone who claims to be so down on machismo, your decision to liken my comment to a 3-inch penis sure is strange.
As for jon jon, NYC and DC are user-friendly? LOL! Why don't you try leaving the Mall or Times Sq.?
Flaccid, hillratdc. the crucial word for my analogy was flaccid. I fail to see how me comparing a dull wit to a flaccid penis is reflective of machismo. it is not as though I implied you had a 3 inch flaccid penis. Now, THAT would have been lamely macho. besides, i'm not the sort of animal that is prone to display bravado. I was just saying you have a weak wit.
Using the penis and its various states as a metaphor for anything is machismo at its lamest and most unimaginative.
[Yawn]
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