Monday, August 14, 2006

Aw, now DCist Coeditor-In-Chief Martin Austermuhle is trying to be cute.

In an post addressing the first four of 48 planned surveillance cameras in Washington, Austermuhle points to an article in the Washington Times indicating that such cameras are ineffective in fighting crime, siting the failure of such cameras in Baltimore. Arguably true, I suppose. But, in typically smug fashion, mostly in reference to this little insignificant troll blog, he thought it would be cute to refer to Baltimore as “our northern-most suburb,...”

Of course, lick my ass, Martin. Stretch that lacerating, serpent’s tongue of yours out and give my rectum a good once-over, please. If all it takes is one big-ol’ jerk-face such as myself to put together a page like this to expose your complete and utter contempt for a metropolitan area, one which you seem so willing to claim as a suburb, than perhaps I was not so wrong-headed after all.

Fine, for you Martin, I’ll provide for you the varied designations for a Metropolitan Area, a Metropolitan Statistical Area, Consolidated and Primary Metropolitan Statistical Area and a Central City as defined by the U.S. Census Bureau.

Metropolitan Area

The general concept of a metropolitan area (MA) is one of a large population nucleus, together with adjacent communities that have a high degree of economic and social integration with that nucleus. Some MAs are defined around two or more nuclei.


As Baltimore and Washington have only minimal economic ties and absolutely no social integration, by definition, these two cities are not in the same metropolitan area. Incidentally, the federal Office of Management and Budget (OMB) does in fact officially categorize the Baltimore-Towson Metropolitan Area and the Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV Metropolitan Area as two separate entities. Regardless of the number of nuclei, Baltimore’s economy is only minimaly related and its culture is unrelated to Washington’s, and this is officially recognized by the U.S. Census Bureau.

Metropolitan Statistical Area

Metropolitan statistical areas (MSAs) are metropolitan areas (MAs) that are not closely associated with other MAs. These areas typically are surrounded by nonmetropolitan counties (county subdivisions in New England).


Again, officially, according to Office of Management and Budget (OMB), these are two separate entities, even in light of the broader definition.

Consolidated and Primary Metropolitan Statistical Area

If an area that qualifies as a metropolitan area (MA) has more than one million people, two or more primary metropolitan statistical areas (PMSAs) may be defined within it. Each PMSA consists of a large urbanized county or cluster of counties (cities and towns in New England) that demonstrate very strong internal economic and social links, in addition to close ties to other portions of the larger area. When PMSAs are established, the larger MA of which they are component parts is designated a consolidated metropolitan statistical area (CMSA). CMSAs and PMSAs are established only where local governments favor such designations for a large MA.


CMSAs and PMSAs are established only where local governments favor such designations for a large MA.” Officially, no such designation exists; so officially, according to the federal Office of Management and Budget, I can tell you to check for polyps while you’re down there.

And finally:

Central City

In each metropolitan statistical area and consolidated metropolitan statistical area, the largest place and, in some cases, additional places are designated as "central cities" under the official standards. A few primary metropolitan statistical areas do not have central cities. The largest central city and, in some cases, up to two additional central cities, are included in the title of the metropolitan area (MA); there also are central cities that are not included in an MA title. An MA central city does not include any part of that place that extends outside the MA boundary.


According to the U.S. Census Bureau, even though Baltimore is larger than Washington, Baltimore cannot consider Washington to be its suburb. This is fine. Baltimore would never be so smug, self-important or arrogant as to make such an obnoxious claim. Of course, not all Central Cities in this no longer federally recognized Consolidated Metropolitan Statistical Area view the world in the same way as Baltimore.

Pity. But we do have a chip on our shoulders. I guess we all have our flaws.

6 Comments:

Blogger Cirrus of Malla said...

CMSAs and PMSAs are no longer in use.

They've been replaced by CSAs and MSAs, which are slightly different, although the principle is largely the same.

You can read more from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Combined_Statistical_Area, or by digging through census bureau publications if you don't trust wiki.

For the record, under the new standards the likes of Gaithersburg, Frederick, Bethesda and Towson all get top "central city" billing as well.

PS: You took out your blogroll! Where's the love? ;-)

2:07 PM  
Blogger Cirrus of Malla said...

“excrutiating minutae that noone buy you cares about”

... and apparently you, since uh, you’re the one who brought it up.

And I didn’t examine it hysterically. This is stuff I already know because it happens to be part of my real-life job.

But hey. I’m just trying to be friendly. Insult away if it makes you happy. It sure is funny.

3:50 PM  
Blogger dcistgohome said...

dan, thanks for the clarification. i took it out because it was mean and unneccessary outside of the context of the original post. I did appreciate your good humor about it though. I no longer think you are an ass licker. I have no beef with you, although you may find me to be a jerk. but that’s okay, as I am a jerk. ;-)

DCist_whoeverthefuckyouare, that is the whole point of this blog. Weeks have passed... perfect. “one whiff of disrespect” and I go off the handle. It’s working.

dan, you seem to be getting me mixed up with someone at DCist. I actually appreciate your minutae. I'm not making fun of you.

3:55 PM  
Blogger dcistgohome said...

Dan, thanks again for providing the link to the wikipedia page on the subject. I just checked it out. Not to beat minutiae with a stick, I liked how someone noted “Note that CSAs represent multiple metropolitan or micropolitan areas that have a high degree of employment interchange. CSAs often represent regions with common labor and media markets. For example, although combined in this list Washington D.C. and Baltimore has different media market. The use of CSAs as a representation for a single metropolitan area is not always appropriate.”

DCist_Jason, or DCistgohomenemesis or whatever you want me to call you (not that I’m going to dog you for going anonymous, as I post anonymous, who am I to judge that? But when you switch identities, you really should alter your rhetorical tone), take special notice of the line “...Washington D.C. and Baltimore has different media market...

That is the whole point I am trying to make! Washington and Baltimore have different media markets. DCist is a form of media. Covering a different media market as though it is their market is unacceptable. Never mind the fact that the only reason that DCist may want to consider Baltimore as part of their market is so they can pretend they are the center of a market of 8 million people, as opposed to the true number of about 5.5 million, thereby pretending they are a market voice for the forth largest market in the country, which it is not. For the approx. 2.5 million people in the Baltimore market, Washington D.C. isn’t even on the map, in much the same way Baltimore isn’t even on the map for the 5.5 million people living in the D.C. market. They are two separate metropolitan markets that just happen to be in very close proximity to one another.

12:27 AM  
Blogger Cirrus of Malla said...

Oops. I’m stupid. Lazy reading of usernames.

Anyway, I like the CSA/MSA idea. The cities (or rather, metropolitan areas) are clearly connected to an extent that ought to be recognized officially, but there’s also clearly a lot of independence on either side. Distinct regions combining to form a larger whole is an ingenious way of handing it, in my opinion.

9:23 AM  
Blogger dcistgohome said...

whatever. I stand corrected. the complete lack of wit now makes me suspect you are that hill rat person; but again, I could be totally incorrect. "room temperature IQ?" yeech. still pulling you insults out of the elementary school grab-bag? perhaps you would like to throw a few "yawns" at me? rubbers and glue? feel free to comment here as often as you like. you could use the practice.

12:07 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home